December 2023 Top 3
December is always busy so I’ll skip over that part where we all talk about how it’s tiring, but awesome, but tiring… It’s the great duality in our culture. This year isn’t different for me but I somehow am feeling more appreciative than I have in the past for the little things. First and foremost for me, that’s my relationship. Matt and I are celebrating 15 years of marriage on New Years Eve and we briefly stepped away from the fray for a quick trip to Las Vegas to see my main squeeze, Bono.
The Sphere in Las Vegas, NV
We saw U2 and it was amazing in all the ways it promised to be. I love live shows but this was probably the first show that within 10 seconds I was already thinking that this was the best thing I’d ever seen. I haven’t seen U2 live before and it was a bucket list item for me and it did not disappoint. They’ve added a few shows into the spring. If you can make it work-I highly recommend!!
The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Quick side note for context: On our 10th anniversary, we took the kids to Las Vegas for New Years and got our vows renewed with Elvis. It had been a chaotic day of travel, a sick dog, a mistaken appointment time and a four-year old Moira wailing that her dad was marrying the wrong one.. “You were supposed to Marry ME”. Needless to say, when Elvis asked if I’d take this hunka hunka burning love…. Or if I’d be taking him to the heartbreak hotel…. There was a hitch in my voice. Not our finest day… but we’ve pushed on five more years.
Matt organized a secret vow renewal for our time in Las Vegas to make up for our previous debacle. It was incredible— partly because we didn’t have to be there but to be at a chapel with people before and after us getting married and recognizing how much more there is behind the vows now than when we were babies just reciting words. There was also a hitch in my voice.
Matt also pulled out our readings and original vows so that we could recite those. Here was one of our readings. This came into my life on the same wind as the Indigo Girls. This was meaningful to me at different times of life but will forever be tied to my relationship with Matt.
The Invitation by Oriah
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.
It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me and not shrink back.’
It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Plan B by Anne Lamott
I believe things present to you when it’s their time. This isn’t a new read by any stretch but it was one of the most enduring for this year. I started in January and have picked up and put it down several times over the course of the year. I am just finishing it now and it for me has been a defining book of 2023. 2023 has seen some highs and lows for our family and I found Lamott’s words comforting during times of transition.
Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life - it has given me me . It has provided time and experience and failures and triumphs and time-tested friends who have helped me step into the shape that was waiting for me. I fit into me now. I have an organic life, finally, not necessarily the one people imagined for me, or tried to get me to have. I have the life I longed for. I have become the woman I hardly dared imagine I would be.”
― Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
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