This time of the year is often a little slower for me— for all of us in real estate. It’s the time to strengthen systems, catch up with people and breathe.

The Inner Game Of Tennis

I haven’t written about this before, but for the last couple years, I’ve been taking violin lessons with my daughter. As someone who is mildly musical, is appreciative of the art and loves to learn- it’s been a true lesson in humility. I know how it should sound but yet find that learning as an adult is much, much harder. I have often debated with my fingers as to why they don’t “want” to extend a certain way or why the sound I produce is hollow when I think it should sound full. I don’t know much, but it’s a huge waste of time trying to negotiate with your pinkie.

We had our winter performance a couple weeks back and I was a total wreck. The most interesting thing was watching the ease that my 11 year old showed with approaching the performance. Granted some of this is her personality- we often joke that she was born competent and confident but also I think she has less baggage and self doubt accumulated. On the other hand, I am playing song, making constant mistakes and running a concurrent post-mortem. It’s a lot folks and I have limited capacity and when I started spiraling found myself making an avalanche of mistakes. I showed up to my final rehearsal saying that I practiced a ton and played the song correctly 2 times— so a 95% chance of failure. Super great attitude folks. :). that said, it wasn’t a total bomb— still very much a beginner sound but I did not totally implode.

The accompanist suggested the book The Inner Game of Tennis. I didn’t read it until after the concert- but it’s great. Apparently this is an older book that just never crossed your radar— so perhaps this is old news for you. Regardless, I enjoyed it.

The Inner Game of Tennis explains the tension between your conscious and unconscious minds, and how this conflict relates to performance, specifically through the lens of tennis.

Self 1 is your conscious mind, the part you’re usually in touch with and that you use to think, decide, and talk to yourself. Self 2 is your subconscious, which you access when you’re in flow, relaxing, and just letting things happen. These two selves are often in inner conflict and how this conflict ends usually determines how well you perform on the outside.

How our two inner selves interact decides how skilled we are on the outside.
In order for our performance to flow effortlessly, we must calm Self 1 and have faith in Self 2.

Primarily, that means not judging ourselves, but observing what happens and then trusting that Self 2 will do the best job it can. When you judge and scold yourself, you’re making Self 1 stronger and more present, which is counterproductive.

The book has lots of practical advice on calming the inner voice. I think it’s worth a read.

The Winter Sabbatical

On that note of self love and calming the inner critic, I present the idea of solo travel. I started taking a tiny sabbatical in January a few years back and I am surprised by the number of people (women in particular) who comment about how they wish they could do that. I know it’s not available to everyone, but if you have the ability to spend a day or two on our own, I highly recommend. For me it started out of a response to particularly busy holiday season. I often think holidays are extra hard on the working mom— the addition of class parties, seasonal parties for kid activities, teacher gifts etc- create a lot of burden in addition to the general “make the magic happen.” By the end, I am exhausted and ready for a break. I have found that the ability to look forward to a few days of quiet and possibly even boredom are so important to me.

This year I found an inexpensive flight to Tahiti (did you know that Tahiti Air Nui now flies directly to Seatac?). It was the same cost as going to Palm Springs— so when in Rome Papeete. It was great to see a part of the world that I never really expected to see, catch up on my work tasks, and read a book! It was great. Put it on your list for next year please!

Change your life Hummus

AKA: Hummus with cinnamon, lemon and ginger by Yotam Ottolenghi.

Finally, I’ve changed hummus recipes. Big news folks- but this will change your life.

For the hummus
300g freshly cooked chickpeas (see previous recipe)
3cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and grated
2 tbsp olive oil
1 small garlic clove
2 lemons – shave off five thin strips of peel, then juice, to get 3 tbsp
Flaked sea salt

For the fried aromatics
60ml olive oil
1 red chilli, deseeded and finely sliced
1 large garlic clove, peeled and thinly sliced
2cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and julienned
1 cinnamon stick, lightly crushed
5g coriander stalks, cut into 4cm lengths, plus 2 tbsp picked leaves

Put the first four ingredients for the hummus in the small bowl of a food processor with the lemon peel, two tablespoons of lemon juice, half a teaspoon of flaked salt and a tablespoon of water. Blitz for about two minutes, until you have a smooth paste (you may need to scrape down the sides of the bowl a couple of times).

For the fried aromatics, heat the oil in a medium pan on a medium heat, then gently fry the chilli, garlic, ginger and cinnamon for five minutes, stirring every once in a while, until the garlic is just starting to brown. Add the coriander stalks and fry for a minute or two more, until the garlic is a light golden brown and the chilli aromatic. Transfer the solids to a plate with a slotted spoon (reserve the oil) and sprinkle generously with flaked salt.

Spoon the hummus on to a large plate, creating a large well in the centre with the back of a spoon. Spoon the oil into the well and drizzle over the remaining tablespoon of lemon juice. Top with the fried aromatics and fresh coriander, and serve.